No love for me

For me no love ..
Says one who lives above ..
I ask What is my fault.
he responds after a halt ..
and says You dont deserve one ..
I accept not being his best son..
But What did i do wrong ..
for being cursed to wait for so long ..
Still end up having a broken heart ..
Which had been repeatedly torn apart..
I have lost my peace ...
my innerself never seem to be at ease...
With something eating me from inside ...
Cant find anyplace to hide...
Those memories always come to haunt me..
I want to breakaway..
to findout how its like to be free ..
Afraid to even look inside my soul..
surrounded by darkness dark as coal..
When last time I checked.
I was not this much wrecked..
unrecoverable Damage has been done ..
I have lost .. and u all have won ...
Why was i chosen to be the one ..